Social Skills - Progress

Liliah has made her first friend this year in pre-school.  This is BIG progress for her. She has been content to play alongside others, but not really take an interest in any one particular peer.   This is Liliah's second year of pre-school and she has had exposure to her peers through church as well as limited daycare time.  Socially, I can see this is an area that suffered in developing because of her early beginnings of orphanage/foster care.  When we were in China she was fine with both of us.  Once home, she did not like any other woman except for me, but PREFERRED daddy for at least 8 months.  Just a couple of months ago, she said I like you mommy, but I love daddy.  She said it as a matter of fact and not in a mean tone.  I was surprised as I know we have bonded and that she loves me.  Daddy talked to her later and realized that she thought she could only love 1 person.  She now understands and verbalizes that she loves us BOTH...that you can love more than 1 person.  It took her 4 months @ 4 times a week to open up to her main pre-school teacher.  The other two aids, she doesn't even remember their names.  I have realized that she has to begin to trust someone first (they have to give her room to do so) and then she will like or love them.  She can't take on more than 1 person.  Today, her teacher said she had to sit down with Liliah because she told another little girl that wanted to play with her and Lily that she didn't like her and took Lily's hand and led them away.  In talking with the teacher, I did say that I was glad that she told me about the incident and we'd work on it at home and she'd continue to monitor/work with her in class.  I did remind her that this is actually progress.  That she actually decided to show interest and pick a friend instead of indifference.  I can see that this is Liliah now being able to move out and trust someone with friendship.  When I talked with Liliah in the car, I replayed the scenario and put her in the other little girls shoes....asked her how she would feel, would that make her sad?  She agreed that it would. I did explain that if there are kids that hit or kick, she doesn't have to play with them, BUT she still needs to be nice. When asking her about being able to love both daddy and I......and explained that she could have more than 1 friend.....she said....hum, I will have to think about that.  Soon after, she seemed excited and said, I can have more than two friends!  Yes, you can my little one.